You are having a conversation and someone says something that presses your button(s). The bait and hook are dangling in front of you. If you react, you may end up talking your way out of the water and straight into their net. It is a choice.
Usually it is best for the fisherperson to know what has a particular fish biting. When it comes to conscious leadership, it is best that you know what has you biting. The distinction between us and the fish is that we are not left to instinctual reaction. We can choose a response. Because when we get hooked and react, our reaction often ends up as a less than tasty dish of regret.
If you think you are unaware of what lures work best with you, ask family and/or close friends for their feedback. They have observed what “works” best to hook you. If you are lucky enough to have children, and best if they are teenagers, then just pay attention to what they are using. They have been fishing these waters all their life and have a lot of local knowledge. Although be warned that some people who fish are a little reluctant to disclose their secrets. It happens.
If we are conscious of what we have a tendency to bite, then we can pause and choose how we would like to respond. An approach I recommend is to take some deep breaths, and avoid the temptation to bite by speaking, and instead, choose to listen. Listening allows us to think and ground ourselves in discerning how to respond, if at all. See the bait and hook, pause and swim around in the reflective waters that still you, and make a choice that allows you not only survive, but thrive. An attractive lure may get our attention, and knowing that it could hook us, allows us to swim onto another tantalizing conversation. When we choose to not bite, we choose to swim more freely another day.