Living in a predominantly consumer society, there is a dominant cultural story of addition. We are told we need more of almost any product or service. More is better. We are increasingly busy with almost every aspect of our lives, because we keep adding, without ever subtracting.
What distinguishes transactional moments from being transformational is what I would call transformational vulnerability. It is the ability to be heart centered in the midst of anything and everything. It is a choice and skill that acknowledges how mindfulness of our interactions can transform us in any moment.
You are having a conversation and someone says something that presses your button(s). The bait and hook are dangling in front of you. If you react, you may end up talking your way out of the water and straight into their net. It is a choice.