Living in a predominantly consumer society, there is a dominant cultural story of addition. We are told we need more of almost any product or service. More is better. We are increasingly busy with almost every aspect of our lives, because we keep adding, without ever subtracting.
Attempting dual knob control on a single knob function does not work. I see people trying to do this all the time, and as you may guess, it doesn’t work. I am not talking about home appliances or electronic gadgets of some sort; I am talking about feelings.
What distinguishes transactional moments from being transformational is what I would call transformational vulnerability. It is the ability to be heart centered in the midst of anything and everything. It is a choice and skill that acknowledges how mindfulness of our interactions can transform us in any moment.
One of the fundamental tenets of Emotional Intelligence (EQ), popularized by Daniel Goleman, is self-awareness. We can never be self-aware if we do not pause.
Phil’s (Jackson) greatest success was not as an individual player, it was as a head coach. Then it hit me. Even though I have primarily been an individual executive coach, what I do now is more akin to head coaching. I had become an executive head coach.
If all that you ever see is yourself – than that is a very limiting perspective.
When Maya Angelou was recently asked about what makes a great leader, she responded by saying, “A leader sees greatness in other people. You can’t be much of a leader if all you see is yourself.”
This blog is a text of the Tedx OrangeCoast talk given on December 01, 2012 for the Women’s Conference with the theme of The Space Between.
Can I tell you what I think? We have become more of a telling, and less of a listening culture. If it is: email, texting, posting, sharing, tweeting, speaking or some other way of getting the information OUT, then that seems to be our dominant communication direction. Listening means that I choose to take information IN.
You are having a conversation and someone says something that presses your button(s). The bait and hook are dangling in front of you. If you react, you may end up talking your way out of the water and straight into their net. It is a choice.
Whether you are a practitioner of meditation, self-hypnosis, contemplation, mindfulness or self –awareness, you have learned that the starting point is with the body.