Attempting dual knob control on a single knob function does not work. I see people trying to do this all the time, and as you may guess, it doesn’t work. I am not talking about home appliances or electronic gadgets of some sort; I am talking about feelings.
Can I tell you what I think? We have become more of a telling, and less of a listening culture. If it is: email, texting, posting, sharing, tweeting, speaking or some other way of getting the information OUT, then that seems to be our dominant communication direction. Listening means that I choose to take information IN.
You are having a conversation and someone says something that presses your button(s). The bait and hook are dangling in front of you. If you react, you may end up talking your way out of the water and straight into their net. It is a choice.
I am often asked what I think is the most important skill or competency that leaders need to develop. The easy answer is that they need to develop themselves from the inside out so that they can be more authentic and collaborative in this emerging and connected global economy.
One never knows where the lesson around collaboration may come from. Since our mobile devices need the ability to talk with each other, it would be helpful if we facilitated “their” need to communicate with each other, by having the humans talk with each other.
Living in the Land of And is more inclusive. It makes room for all of us to be part of the conversation, and not the debate. If you want to engage folks in the process of improving performance, or anything for that matter, then we need to intentionally co-create the space for conversation that is more akin to dialogue than debate.
I think that a default setting for a lot of organizations is to gather people for meetings because that is the way we have always done it. It may not be the best way of doing things, but it is a tradition. These traditions can be seen in: weekly, monthly, quarterly or annual meetings. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that it is invaluable to bring people together. I do have a bias about the “why” though.