I have been a long time fan of the poet, David Whyte, since I met him in 1992. In his latest work, The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self and Relationship, he addresses the disconnected dualism of the modern conundrum of work-life balance, and instead offers a trinity of relationships – work, self and relationship/other. To borrow a concept from Trinitarian theology, he frames the three relationships as – distinct, but not separate. They all are mutually supportive conversations that co-create each other.

I have never liked the language of work –life balance. It is a dualistic view that creates an ongoing battle that is never won. Balance is commonly defined as a state of equilibrium. In the complexity of life, where change is the constant, finding a state of equilibrium is elusive at best and horribly frustrating, most of the time. I agree with David Whyte that we need to reimagine it. Work-life balance as a concept does not work. Let it go and make space for something more helpful.

A bigger and more connected picture is to view these three relationships in their complexity and wholeness. Finding the rhythm amongst them  is learning to dance the subtleties of their interaction with each other.  It is here, in this space of movement and pauses, that they are re-imagined as a collective whole seeking rhythm with one another in the dance of life – your life. I encourage you to read the book and allow the reimagining to begin. Enjoy the wholeness of who you are.